No, dear reader. I am not taking you through my wild shopping orgies. There is a point I am going to make. Soon.
About 4 years back, I took a break from 9-5 existence. I had hoped, like a lot of us to carve out an entrepreneurial venture. Be my own boss. Let my creativity fly. Hubby stood by me like a brick. Supported me throughout. However, much to my annoyance, my dream project refused to make any money. I won’t get sidetracked into those sad details. The point is, I spent 2 years without a regular income. Along with my income, my confidence too dwindled. I could not walk into a store and spend on myself without feeling guilty. I have a great husband , who makes very decent money but there will come a time when he will look at the credit card bill, look nonplussed and say – err, more shoes?. It will kill you.
My mom was a housewife. Out of choice. Both, hers and my dad’s. The unspoken agreement was that she would concentrate on raising two great kids while dad would earn the daily bread. And I think, between them, the arrangement worked rather fine. However, when it came to spending my mom had her priorities straight. The home, the girls and then, herself. Now, as a 32 year old woman, I realize the magnitude of her small sacrifices. My point is, if mom had been financially independent, maybe her order of priorities would not have changed. But the absolute amount of money spent on herself would have gone up. If I were to take into account the hot meals, the patience with homework, the bedtime stories, childbirth, always a ear for dad’s venting…..I think mom’s salary would be huge. But she never got one.
I shut my store and got back into a 9-5 and today I realize the importance of that fixed but regular income. It gives me a certain freedom. With it also come certain luxuries which I feel I’ve earned. A great head massage at the end of a rotten week, unnecessary pink shoes, contribution to our savings. It gives me a certain attitude and a certain confidence. And a great sense of security.
I have 2 friends. One hates her job. But sticks it out bravely giving it the best she can. “ And do what? Ask hubby for some cash everytime I want to buy some cosmetics?”
And the second has just had a baby. She’s a talented designer who hasn’t looked at her computer once in the last 1 year. And won’t either for the next 10 odd years, maybe more. She’s genuinely happy being a full time mom. She’s ok with going to a store, looking at a piece of jewellery and mentally dismissing it.
They are both great women. They’ve both made their choices.