Karva Chauth

My first Karva Chauth was exactly 2 days after my marriage. So there I was, still in my heavy silk sarees, at my in laws’ house, exhilarated at being with the man I loved all 24 hours without having to rush back home after a date, off for a honeymoon the next day; how could I not have succumbed to keeping the fast? To be very fair my mom-in –law left it all up to me. But the lure of the moment was too much.

I thoroughly enjoyed myself that day. I dressed up in this beautiful red silk saree, had everyone pamper me and had a new husband following me around like I was going to faint any minute. I still remember we went to M-Block market in GK1 in the evening and he bought me flowers for my hair. Goodness! The romance!

It’s been 9 years now. I still keep the fast. And out of no coercion at all. Simply put, I love the festival.

The point is, for me this day is not about keeping a fast so my husband can have a long life ( I mean, really!), it’s a day of love, commitment and a lot of effort from both of us to make it special.

I read a lot about the need to make an effort to keep the spark alive in a marriage, what is one to do when after a few years of marriage the initial attraction wanes to a more comfortable existence. This, for us, is one of the fun things that we do. I’ve never been to a mehndi waali to apply my mehndi. My husband does that for me. Yes. I will wait for 5 minutes for you to stop laughing. You see, a lot of romance between two people seems very silly to a third person. So will this. But trust me, we have loads of fun. The laughter at his designs, the patience with which he’ll struggle with the mehndi cone for at least an hour is so so special. My ( mostly messy )mehndi will never compete with the other womens’ professionally done designs, but I love it this way.And really, I’m not going to die of starvation or even faint if I don’t eat for a day. The number of times I leave home without breakfast and skip lunch as well due to meetings is phenomenal. So many of us do that. So what’s so different about this day? But the whole experience of having him come home early, the wait for the moon, the breaking of the fast, and the pact to rush out looking for a restaurant which will give us a table immediately is so much fun and so romantic.

And no, I don’t go berserk shopping. I spend the day at office ( writing posts!!!). And my husband is yet to give me any gifts for this particular day.

I take a lot of liberties with tradition. We don’t have the normal home cooked food for dinner. I don’t go and do the puja with the other women…I do puja at home. But I keep the fast with an earnestness and accord this festival with a lot of seriousness. I know a lot of people who don’t keep the fast. My own mom gave up many years ago. My sister scoffs at the whole proceedings. My mom in law has never kept the fast herself. I think the choice is completely personal

No. He no longer needs to prove his love for me. Nor I to him by keeping a fast. That exists in the small everyday things that we do. But can you imagine the romance and the memories that this festival has given us. In Kolkata, one year, it was impossible to spot the moon from our house, so the man actually drove me down to the Hooghly river bank so I could see the moon from there. It was beautiful. It’s a memory that will last me a lifetime.

I think my nani was very evolved. She used to say that Karva Chauth was possibly a woman’s day off. Look at the customs. A woman is not supposed to use a sharp object on this day. So that means no knife and no needle. Tradionally women would spend their time cooking and sewing. So possibly this really was their day off. To be pampered. To wear their finery and get time off from their everyday work. Possibly.
So here I sit in office, in my pink kota saree with lovely zari work, with my boss laughing that in any case I have so many reserves, not eating for one day is actually not going to effect me at all(!!!!! ) enjoying the feeling and looking forward to a great evening.Enjoy Karva Chauth.

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37 Responses to Karva Chauth

  1. tarabhatt says:

    >good one!and a nice change coz most of the posts on karva chauth are about how and why girls dont do it anymore…nobody in my family does it except for my sis, as you said, its a personal choice for us..enjoy the day.. i can only imagine how you would be looking in that pink sari sitting in the office laughing back at the boss for his silly reasoning..cheers

  2. BlueMist says:

    >Awww…very sweet 🙂 You are actually tempting me to keep the fast 😀

  3. Rofl Indian says:

    >Lovely, effusive post. Enjoy your day 🙂

  4. Ramit says:

    >Oh trust me Diva, your's is the best mehendi in India right now. The prettiest too. You got a good guy there, take good care of him.

  5. Ramit says:

    >Oh and God bless you both and good luck!

  6. Dil se says:

    >Great post MD !!The meaning of festivals do change with time and I believe it is all about for the happiness of people who believe in it.Right from the first year, my husband has given me company on this day. Yes, even he fasts with me on this day. And his arguement is, "what will I do with the long life if I don't have my life partner with me!! so let me fast for you too :-)"Enjoy your day today.I am also fasting and my husband is calling me every half an hour and asking "Are you temted to eat something yet ?"

  7. Solilo says:

    >Now this was a refreshing post on Karva Chauth. Have a nice day!

  8. Nu says:

    >That's a really nice post..a 'direct-dile-se' post you know… I'm really glad to know that there are few more females out there that who are materialistically in love with their man..but they love their man with all the love and tenderness and that's how the spark and the excitement is kept alive…you know what i mean ? eh ? :)Im sure you had a great great eve 🙂 And yes it's truly and individual's choice…to do or not to do !

  9. >oh I know the romance part you wrote about. I too am married for 9 years now and such small bursts of romance keep the love alive :)Hope you had a great day.

  10. >hey Happy festival!!!wish you a long-loving-togetherness with your hubby

  11. >Awww that's so sweet.I am a Bong, but in my husband's side, Karwa Chauth is a big thing. We both fast and break it together. for me, till I got married it was just soemthing I saw in the K-serials and the movies. This is the one thing my MIL asked me to do – and I respect that. Yesterday was my 3rd fast. I don't get the point of fastign to prove my love and committment (maybe cuz I'm a Bong and we NEVER fast or eat veggie), but I respect the fact that he voluntarily chose to keep it with me and that's what keeps us ging – both of us grumbling all day about no food, no water, but the end of the day is bliss :)PS: It's me SMM – I'v moved to WP

  12. M@ria says:

    >Hi Diva! I always wondered what the fuss was all about on karwa chauth why only women…but the way you wrote it made me it look at it from a fresh new angle. Thanks!And i absolutely love the mehndi bit 🙂 how sweet is that. Yea, there so many small things that a couple do for each other that remains special only to them…

  13. D says:

    >I agree with everything you've said there. It's a romantic festival, even if it makes no sense otherwise 🙂

  14. >divya. that is a beautiful post. it is easy to laugh and scoff, but it never easy to feel the same love after so many years of being together.and to those who make an effort, and to those who still feel it, cheers. so here's a hug for you.

  15. PNA says:

    >lovely couple and be this way all thru…. PNA

  16. Dee says:

    >He puts mehandi for u and cooks on sunday. Is this husband of urs for real? Can I send mine for some serious coaching classes..The DH has this mental block of girly versus boyish things.. And it has taken me years to shed that stupid mentality!!

  17. >how sweet and romantic.. the two of you and this post i mean.its all about the spirit with which one takes things. I just did a post on the same subject and as you might find out after reading, i dont take the festival very seriously. its also because I have no company here and doing things, dressing up alone gets a lil boring. In my three years of marriage this is the first time i did it, and well, it wasnt bad at all and you have totally inspired me to dress up if i do it the next time.. ur sari sounds very pretty:)

  18. >if you can keep the love alive, in this era of cynicism, kudos to you.

  19. Zeba says:

    >Awwwwwn. Cute post. What did he get you???

  20. Nu says:

    >Okay some corrections in my earlier comment:That's a really nice post..a 'direct-dile-se' post you know… I'm really glad to know that there are some females out there who are NOT materialistically in love with their man..but they love their man with all the love and tenderness and that's how the spark and the excitement is kept alive…you know what i mean ? eh ? :)Im sure you had a great great eve 🙂 And yes it's truly and individual's choice…to do or not to do !

  21. soul speaks says:

    >Hi, Finally I have found someone who is not scoffing at the whole thing. I am not even from North India, but born and brought up in Delhi and I just love this festival, like you said I do it my own way, I keep the fast, sometimes I get the Mehndi and the finery bit done other wise I just do the puja on my own at my home and just the feeling of love which this fast gives me for my husband is enough for me to do it every year. take care. Rekha

  22. Meira says:

    >Wow! You make it sound so cool. But yeah, anything done to keep the spark alive is a good effort.:)

  23. >Awww this reminds me of DDLJ 🙂 And I have seen guys following the wives, fearing they were going to faint any moment !!! 🙂 I see a lot of our festivals are evolving into more meaningful ones… Some of my friends and their husbands fast together and then go out for dinner 🙂

  24. aneeta says:

    >Hi Diva,I enjoyed reading ur post….v nice!

  25. Mumbai Diva says:

    >tara: I know. Most people think it's rather reggressive. But it's a purely personal choice. And it can be fun!!BlueMist : :DROFL : Thank you. Yes i had a lovely day. Ramit : I will take care of him. And thank you.Dil Se: how sweet. he actually fasts. that's really sweet.Solilo: Thank you.

  26. Mumbai Diva says:

    >Nu : Yeah. I got what you are saying. One has to make the effort to retain the fun element. of course it's a personal choice. No body else in my family keeps it either.Lazy Pineapple : I had a great day. Thank you :)Shruti : thanks sweetie.SMM: 🙂 well as long as it's bliss at the end, i guess that's what counts.M@ria: one year we had a competition. So I applied mehndi on my left hand and he applied it on my right. The idea was to see who does it better!!!!D: 🙂 Of course it doesn't make any sense. But it's so romantic.agentgreenglass: thank you….PNA: Thank youDee: LOL. Yup he's for real!!

  27. Mumbai Diva says:

    >ISH: Yeah. You're right. It's more fun when there are people around you who understand the festival. But you try it. See, if it works for you :)Cynic: yeah. I guess.Zeba: LOL. Nah. Nothing….Soulspeaks: yes. i think you completely understand. I love what you said.Meira : Yup :)indianhomemaker : exactly. it's only as regressive as you choose to make it.aneeta : thanks.

  28. >Hi, enjoyed reading your post 🙂 Both my husband & I keep the fast for each other every year, and I agree with you, it does bring back the romance!

  29. >awwwwthats so sweet :)I draw the mehandi on my left hand and AB does it on my right 🙂 he makes a smiley on my thumb :PI totally understand what joy you must be feeling :)God bless…

  30. Anjuli says:

    >Hey, its lovely to see such love between the two of you, God Bless!Take care!

  31. Haddock says:

    >This reminds me of the hair colouring I do for my wife (yes giving you exactly 5 mts to stop laughing)When my wife's cousin came visiting (from USA) and saw me doing this she said "Joe is there anything that you don't do?)Pat pat.. . . . .

  32. Monika says:

    >u know u echoed my sentiments… i love the festival just for the reasons u mentioned 😀

  33. The knife says:

    >Came here after ages though i read about the post at Scarlett's sometime back.Lovely and touching and don't forget to put the kaala tikaOur anniversary's tomorrow. i think I'll go and cook up something

  34. >very very sweet.lovely memories indeed…I did my first karva chauth this year. I have been married a couple of years. And my sentiments were similar in that i am not sure i believe in the long life thing but it is a festival that makes for nice moments and great memories

  35. ani_aset says:

    >this whole post is so full of sweetnes and mush and romance..and its still so simple ..god bless you both 🙂

  36. dipali says:

    >This was the nicest karva chauth post ever:)

  37. Shalini says:

    >Great blog find…am enjoying reading your posts. No compulsion to keep the fast for me too….we follow fasting for Teej instead of Karva Chauth though. I really tried the first year, but could never make it 😦

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